He Doesn’t Love You, Now Act Like It!

Last night, after Bible study, I went out for a late night dinner/catch-up session with a good friend whom I consider to be my sister in Christ. She suggested the TGI Friday’s close to the church, but I was reluctant. Previous visits to the restaurant proved to be pretty lackluster. Yet and still, it was nearby and suited the purpose of ‘So what’s goin’ on with you, girl?!’ time. When we got there I toiled and toiled over the menu. I have to have flipped through that menu 20+ times, to the point where my friend made a joke and said: “I just want to let you know, that nothing on that menu has changed since the last time you flipped through it.” However, I knew that in the past, I had left with my palate less than satisfied. Therefore, my perusing had to be well calculated. I eventually settled on a spinach queso dip because well, how can you mess up chips and dip? Anyway, my friend who had been there earlier in the week decided to get what she got before, the ribs and fried shrimp. Now, I am a bonafide skeptic when it comes to ribs. I need them “falling off the bone” tender, well-seasoned, and meaty. Although the ribs sounded good, I knew I’d be taking a risk by ordering them. So I stuck with my lil’ ole chips and dip.

Over the course of our dinner we talked about everything from work, to faith, to dating and relationships. Eventually, we each ended up talking about the guys who had most recently caused us the most irritation and frustration. Actually, let me rephrase that. We talked about the guys that we have allowed to cause us such irritation and frustration. My friend went on to tell me about this dude that she’s been dealing with for a while. Let me just say, this guy’s behavior is IDENTICAL to that of the guy that I allowed in my life for a little longer than too long. What does that look like, you ask? Well let’s see, he’s inconsistent (super attentive and lovey-dovey one minute and completely detached the next), flaky when it comes to making and keeping plans, a dream seller, a master manipulator, and a Jedi-mind tricker, but always a great time when he does decide to be around. Now this sounds like a no-brainer, right? Like, ‘WHAT in the heck are you doing entertaining such foolishness in the first place?!’  *Sigh* if only….

By the time she finished telling me about this fool’s latest shenanigans, she was down to her last few ribs. She said: “Yea, these ribs are burnt. Well at least the ones on the end are.” However, she kept eating them! Finally, she laughed and said, “That’s how you know I’m cheap. I’m only eating them because I’m paying for them.” **For the record she’s not really cheap**. That’s when I said, “That sounds a lot like that situation-ship. Holdin’ on when you should just let it go. Like ‘yeaaaa, I don’t really like this but I already paid for it so……*shrug*.’” We were laughing, but we knew that this was exactly the case. Sometimes, we sell ourselves cheap because of the time we’ve already invested. Her justification was that she has yet to meet someone else that she feels such a spark with. I had to remind her (and myself), that God will send her someone that makes her feel that same spark, but without all the pain and sadness.  He is capable of creating that same spark again, but with a person who has all the respectable qualities that are required to sustain a healthy relationship. God is the master mathematician. He knows just where to add and exactly what to subtract. This past Sunday, my pastor preached a sermon called “The Choice Is Yours”. One of the most poignant points he made was this: “Your life now is the sum total of the decisions you’ve made up until this point.” Now, if my friend and I had been as careful about who we allowed into our hearts, as I was with that menu last night, each of our situations would probably look a lot different right now. I say all that to say, we know the signs when we see them. Female intuition is really not a joke. You KNOW he doesn’t love you! But you also know that God does. Act accordingly by moving on and trusting that God knows what He’s doing and will send you just what you need, right when you need it.